School in swarg Part 2

Shiv ji entered. The bang was the sound of his familiar damroo. Ah, it was khel class after all. Ghatotkach did not exactly appreciate this physical training. He and Ganesh were perhaps the only vidyarthi in class who did not enjoy playing a variety of games. It made them hungry.

Nevertheless, that day they played gulli danda and went for a quick jog around the swargiya school campus. Soon, the moment Ghatotkach was waiting for arrived. Khel class got over. As he entered the class, he saw Lakshmi devi  smile at him. It was angrezi class now. Lakshmi devi adorned almost every ornament that had been made on bhulok. Her saree was a bright golden one and her face shone like a platinum ring. Lakshmi devi was perhaps the only teacher who actually seemed to like him. She was a symbol of money, and nowadays at swarglok, the gateway to a good job (and hence money) was angrezi. He smiled back at her. Angrezi class went smoothly. They learnt the story of samudra manthan.

Next up was ganit class. Ghatotkach sighed. He didn’t really like seeing Brahma ji’s uncountable heads. Brahma ji was full of wisdom, heads and ganit formulas. The problem was that Ghatotkach comprised of ladoos, kachoris and samosas. Life was tough for poor Ghatotkach. Brahma ji  began with the formula of how a human being is actually made in swarg lok. Ghatotkach, however, couldn’t concentrate. His emotions right now were messed up. He was happy as it was the last class for the day. He was sad as well because after school, he would have to encounter the wrath of Indra ji.

Ghatotkach’s mind began to oscillate like a pendulum. To calm his mind, he gulped some rasgullas, thus depicting his great talent of eating sumptuous meals without the knowledge of the guru. His mind finally stopped. Brahma ji had asked him the formula to calculate the area of a human head. He scratched his head in despair. He didn’t even know the slightest thing about a human head. All he knew was that he would run a successful restaurant in the future. There was no use calculating area of human heads!

He got a lovely slap on his face from his dearest Brahma ji.  He ignored the pain and chomped some more rasgullas to hide his pain. Brahma ji continued his ganit and Ghatotkach continued ignoring. Finally, the class got over and Brahma ji left.

Ghatotkach prepared himself for Indra’s torture. He was habitual to such torture. He walked out of the school and went towards Indra’s mansion.

  

School in swarg Part 1

So, it has been a year since I have been blogging. For my 1^st year anniversary, I will be re writing some of my old articles. I didn’t post this weekend, because this article needed time.  So, here’s Swarg in school with a twist. Apologies for the delay! Hope you enjoy the article!

  “Indra ji! Indra ji!” Vishnu exclaimed. Indra picked a fruit from the Kalpavriksha. He turned slowly, and murmured under his breath, “Opening a school in Swarg was the worst thing I ever did. Being a principal has really snatched away my privacy.” Then, stroking Airavats milk-like white skin, Indra replied in an uninterested tone, “What is it Vishnu?” Vishnu, used to the varying moods of Indra, replied calmly, “This Ghatotkach doesn’t seem to understand that Sudarshan chakra sliced Shishupal’s head because it was a blade, and not some idiotic rubber toy. His mischief is unstoppable! Hamara suna ansuna kar deta hai, mahodaya ji. All teachers have a problem with him. ” Ghatotkach glanced at Vishnu, and thought, “ I remember that we learnt something about the Sudarshan chakra, but what was it? Urgh, I keep forgetting half of the stuff we learn in school.” His thoughts were interrupted by a ignorant Indra, “Fine. Arrange a meeting with all the teachers and this little mischief-maker. Now go and teach vigyaan Vishnu ji.” Vishnu left, feeling assured. He could finally switch his thoughts from Ghatotkach to the working of the brahmastra.

 Ghatotkach sighed. His fat-bellied, chubby yet adorable physique needed at least 100 plums per day. He was dieting after all. He had unfortunately missed his lunch break. Now he was really annoyed at the very thought of seeing his teachers who were Gods and Goddesses in reality. His father, the great Bheem, kept giving him his advice which was enlightened with wisdom. He was told to feel privileged to be a part of this prestigious institution. But all he could feel was lazy and hungry.  He wanted to be normal. This whole godliness had overpowered his happy-go lucky life.

He walked beside Vishnu, with Vishnu blabbering something and Ghatotkach ignoring it. Soon, they saw a neatly painted, clean and tidy, three-storeyed building. It was surrounded by bright blue clouds and was floating on the cotton-like clouds. A chariot stood before them. They sat on the bright yellow chariot which had ‘Swarg ka vidyalay’ written on both sides in bold black. Ghatotkach let out a disgusted look.

After climbing one complete floor and walking for about 500 steps, Ghatotkach reached his class as tired as a koala bear and perspiring heavily. He saw Ganga devi in class, teaching a Hindi lesson. She was teaching sandhi, and as usual, no one was paying attention. Hindi was a neglected subject at school. No one exactly cared about Ganga devi. They thought that since she had got really popular in bhulok, she had started over-acting lately. Ghatotkach sat, his hands on his head. Suddenly, he heard a bang…………………………..

(To be continued)

   

Khaane mein kya loge?-1

If life was a film, food would be the intermission. Food is one of the most important and one of the best parts of life. There are two categories of people in the world- those who eat to live and those who live to eat. I fall in the latter. Food is the bright color in a dull room. It is your favorite scene of a T.V. serial. It is like your favorite actor or actress; you need to see it every day.

For Indians, food is more than just a word. Indian food reflects this view. I don’t think that there is even one Indian who can live without eating Indian food. Food is very important for us Indians.

Let me give you some common examples. When a child comes back from a birthday party, he is asked two things—“How was the party?” and “Khaane mein kya tha?” Even when a person hosts a birthday party, food is a major element for its success. Even the criteria to judge a wedding is food. I have seen in movies, when the hosts ask the guests about how the food was, the typical nakchadi aunties answer, “Dal mein namak zyada hai aur bhai ye gulab jamun itna meetha kyu hai?” This salty dal and oversweet gulab jamun become their top gossip stories and they talk about the hosts in a nasty way. I am sure you can visualize the over made-up faces of these aunties with flashy, their bit-too bright sarees and their nasty tone.

When a guest comes home, the first thing that is discussed is the food items that will be present. Even the guests come with high expectation. So, if the guest doesn’t eat properly, the host gets really disappointed. Also, if the food if not good, the guests also show an awkward face to the host. Basically, during few situations, food is regarded as self-respect. There was a chapter in my last year Hindi textbook, Tum kab jaoge, atithi, which describes the misery of a host and how frustrating his duties towards his guest are. The author mentions how he had to turn his raat ka khana into a ucch-madhyam vargi dinner. Food is very important.

Food at school and office is yet another example of how food affects our daily routine. You eat your dear aloo parathas from your friend’s tiffin. You actually feel happy when you see some junk food or any of your favourite food items in their tiffin boxes. Stanley ka dabba is a movie that actually shows our dependence on others lunch boxes. I personally ask each friend of mine about their lunch as soon as I enter the class.

Food for us isn’t just rasmalai, kaali dal, rosgulla, fish curry, vada pav, chola bhatura, malai kulfi, gulab jamun, idli-dosa-sambar.  Food really means a lot to us. Food is our pride.

If Ashoka was Egyptian

Egyptian history is among the most interesting ones in the world. After reading about the various miracles that these people did in the past, one gets awestruck! After seeing the various monuments in this wondrous country, and after reading a bit about the history of these, I have decided to twist history a bit for this article.

I have written articles that have described my absurd idea of some famous international personalities being Indian. Today, I am going to twist it a little. So let’s see how Ashoka would be if he was Egyptian.

First, let’s go through some statistics. Ashoka’s reign started in 272 BCE. Ptolemy II Philadelphus was his contemporary Egyptian pharaoh. This pharaoh belonged to the same dynasty as the famous Cleopatra, and was half- Greek. In fact, he is mentioned in one of Ashoka’s edicts.

During Ashoka’s times, Egypt followed a religion that comprised of polytheistic beliefs. Many Gods were worshipped. Unlike India, where various religions were followed, only this religion was followed in whole of Egypt. So if Ashoka was Egyptian, we would see him worshipping Gods like Osiris, Ra, Isis, Horus, Anubis, Thoth, Sobek, Noot, Iris and many more. Ashoka would possibly not be the king who propagated Buddhism to various parts of the world.

Also, in ancient Egypt, the king was considered the son of God, and sometimes God himself. He was considered a living form of Osiris, the son of Amun-Ra (king of Gods). Some kings were even worshipped and temples were built in their remembrance. Perhaps we would see a temple dedicated to Ashoka.

Ashoka wore something that was similar to a dhoti. We wore a turban or pagdi and wore various ornaments. He had shoulder-length hair. If he was Egyptian, his ensemble was subject to change. Egyptian pharaohs used to put a false beard to highlight their manliness. Their heads used to have a huge crown.  They wore a bottom similar to a petticoat that Indian women wear. Sometimes they wore a kalsiris, which was basically a large piece of cloth, worn with or without a gown. It was draped in many ways. Even they wore a couple of ornaments.

Egyptian pharaohs had a desire to expand their kingdom and to conquer new territories. Ashoka wanted to make peace with the surrounding areas and not conquer the areas. Perhaps Ashoka might not be as peace-abiding as we see him now if he was Egyptian.

I think that it would be great to imagine Ashoka to be Egyptian, but if all this was real, our country would lose one of its greatest kings.

I hope you all enjoyed this article.