Humanities: I think we can certainly try yaar, but first this whole ‘caste system of streams’ needs to be abolished.
Commerce: I agree with you. People say that the mentality has changed, but trust me, it hasn’t. In our country, its just thought that the dumb kids take commerce and humanities, and all the smart kids take science. That is so not true.
Science: But at the end of it, you guyz do need to accept that I am the most important. I mean, your subjects are all ratta, anyone can do them
.
Science sings ‘Ratta maar’ from Student of the Year.
Humanities: I don’t agree with you. I’d say that all streams are equally important.
Commerce: Ya, I agree with her. And, our subjects aren’t ratta. Just tell me how you can study economics or accounts by rote learning.
Humanities: Or even psychology and sociology.
Science: Arrey, but students from your stream cannot pass NEET and JEE.
Commerce: Arrey, they pass CA and UPSC.
Humanities: All those coaching classes that engineering or medical students go for become a curse for the children, matlab even the kids who genuinely want to become engineers or doctors, find it difficult due to all that pressure thrust upon them. They are pareshaan.
Commerce and humanities dance on ‘Main pareshaan pareshaan pareshaan pareshaan….’
Science: Even your CA and UPSC classes aren’t less. Students take 3-4 attempts to pass the exams. UPSC is all cramming useless info, and it isn’t even of much use later. CA is mahan, the most you guyz earn is 24 lakhs, I’d earn that much in a month.
Commerce: Who will your engineers and doctors turn to when they need advice about financial records, haan? Who will fill their income returns and maintain their financial records?
Humanities: Who will look into the issues faced by the people who do not have jobs in the IT sector? Who will represent our country on a global platform? Who will arrest the corrupt doctors who take extra fees from their patients?
Science: Accha, and why don’t they arrest the most corrupt people- the politicians? Chalo maan liya ki you guyz have some use. But you need to respect me if I need to respect you.
Humanities is really sad after hearing the comment on politicians. She is as still as a statue.
Commerce: Chalo theek hai. We are all equal now. All of us need aadar and samman so that our country can scale new heights. Kyun, kya hua Humanities?
Humanities Devi changes her roop to Political Science, who sings the following song:
Tadap tadap ke iss dil se aah nikalti rahi,
Mujhko saza di corruption ki,
Aisa kya gunah kiya?
Toh lut gaye, haan lut gaye,
Haan lut gaye hum desh ki mohabbat mein.
All of a sudden, she calms down.
Humanities: Bolo?
Commerce (shocked and stammering): Hmmmm….We..were..actually…talking about…mutual..respect….
Humanities: Okay, I’m fine with it. Unless and until the topic of corruption isn’t raised again. You see, I turn into Kaali maata when someone does that.
Science: I guess we saw your unknown side.
Commerce: Okay! So we are all good! No more fights.
Humanities: No more allegations.
Science: No more hypotheses!
Humanities and Commerce (together): What?
All three join their hands and say “Stream maata ki jai ho!”
DDLJ title track plays. A little boy dressed like Shaharukh Khan from DDLJ with a mandolin enters and sings:
Tujhe dekha toh ye jana sanam,
Asli stream hoti hai vocational sanam.
Ab baaki streams ko kahan bheje hum.
Unke subjects ko kahan bheje hum….
Commerce: Ab tu kaun hai bhai?
Vocational: Vocational. (removes sunglasses and says). Naam toh suna hoga.
Science: Kahan kaam karta hai? I mean in those clothes, no engineering firm would let you in. Tum dono ki hi streams ka hoga ye toh.
Humanities: I don’t know him.
Vocational: Don’t worry senorita. Bade bade streams mein aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai. I’m the career education stream and I prepare people to work in various streams.
Commerce: We officially do not accept you as a part of the stream clan.
Humanities and science nod in agreement.
Vocational: Sattar minute, bas sattar minute hai tumhare paas. Tumhari zindagi ke sabse keemti sattar minute. Inn sattar minute mein decide karlo ki kahan jana. Kyuki yahan toh mai tumhe rehne nahi doonga. Main streams ki industry ka badshah hoon!
Science: Tu hamara kuch nahi bigad sakta. Tu badshah hai toh hum thalaiva hai. You cant even hold a guitar. Guitar ko bhi Doraemon ki small light se chota karke use karta hai. Dumbo.
Commerce: We won’t let you do so. We support Make in India! Doraemon Japanese hai.
Humanities: Aye haye. Guyz that’s a mandolin. But still Mr Vocational, aap yahan nahi reh sakte.We just decided that we will respect each other and now you came out of nowhere. Streams, chappal attack!
Science: Yes! I’ll even check at what speed it hurts the most.
The three streams launch a chappal attack on vocational and he is driven out of the park of education.
Moral of the story: There can never be equality among streams in India.
