The unimaginative babe

8.00 a.m.: I wake up. It’s a “holiday”. Well, the day cannot be called a “holiday”. Who wakes up at 8.00 a.m. on a “holiday”? A normal person doesn’t wake up before 10.00a.m on a “holiday”. It’s a preparatory leave. The word “leave” sounds vibrant, but the word “preparatory” drains all the indefatigable energy. A preparatory leave is supposed to be to study and prepare. But honestly I don’t prefer waking up at 8 when I have waking up at 10 as an alternative. Unfortunately exams force us hapless students to sacrifice our beauty sleep for marks.

Sleep feels like an endangered animal, a critically endangered one. My panda (sleep) has reduced from a 100% of 10 hours to 60% of 6 hours. My exam score harms my sleep marks!

8.10 a.m.: My thoughts fluctuate towards how exams harm us students. We are all Alok Naths before exams, but turn into Gutthis and Dr Mashoor Gulati from Kapil’s Show after exams. I seriously consider looking for mental asylums, to escape from these hoodoo exams. I feel like the victims of the Conjuring movie and exams are Bathsheba. The exams are removed from our lives by an exorcism i.e. sleep sacrifice. I am seriously sick of exams.

9.30 a.m.: Maa tells me that a relative is coming over. I express my happiness by some exclamations.

11.00 a.m.: The relative (lets name her Relative A ) enters. She immediately reminds me of Miss A from the Kaali Maata Ki Jai Ho incident. Her glowing and pimple-less face reminds me of a peeled and boiled potato. Her face has a golden glow without any patches. I’m sure she spends a lot of bucks at the beauty parlor. She has one of those typical wedge-like heels slippers (which I hate). Her bright yellow silk saree is a bit too flashy and doesn’t suit her age. The amount of ornaments on her body might be equivalent to the weight of a Sumo wrestler. Her face is filled with a bright pink blush and a bright red lipstick with a very thick layer of eyeliner and a bright blue eyeshadow. Those colors don’t even go together! I think she seriously needs to alter her fashion sense and make it more age-appropriate. 

11.05a.m.: Relative A starts telling me about my short hair, pair of  shorts, big height. She tells me to go and get some chai  for her.

I tell her I need to study for my exam, and escape.

1.30 p.m.: Its lunch time. I come for lunch. Relative A tells me to get some rotis for her. I obediently obey and get her some rotis. Then she tells me that exams will keep coming, but opportunities to serve the family and do household work rarely come. I backfire.

I tell her the following:

·       Thank you caring for me. But please just mind your own business for a while.

·       I have dreams for my future, and serving the family isn’t even on the cards.

·       Exams take me towards my dreams.

·       Even I hate exams, but washing utensils and jhaadu-pocha isn't any better.

·       If you would have taken your exams seriously, you would have got a slightly more common sense and would have known that the struggle for Women’s rights has started.

She gives the “haww” expression. Her red lipstick spreads and just adds more to her overall untidy and shabby appearance. She doesn’t notice and concentrates on her food as if nothing happened. I use the Rancho (3 idiots) technique getting to know prices.I deliberately spill some food on her saree. She tells me that it’s a 10,000 bucks saree.10,000 bucks for this saree! I wouldn’t give a paisa for it! Thankfully, she leaves soon. I study.