The Indian killing machine

I have been obsessed with Adolf Hitler lately.  I was introduced to Hitler in the second chapter of my History textbook this year. I was in awe of
 the aura of World War II. Everything about the war fascinated me, but this monster called Hitler has been draining all my energy for the past few months. All I can think about is possibilities of different Hitler theories. I guess the thing that fascinated me the most about Hitler was this question: How did an aspiring artist turn into a killing machine?

For the past few months, I have been reading Mein Kampf and Hitler’s last day: Minute by minute. Apart from this, I Google every new thing I discover about Hitler. I aspire to be a historian, and this takes me closer to my goal.

So all this research work led to the birth of a crazy thought: What if Hitler was Indian? My previous article on such lines, ‘What if Greg Heffley was Indian?,’ was appreciated by a lot of people. So why not bring out the crazy possibilities and change in the course of history if the most famous killing machine of all times is turned Indian?

Historically, if Hitler was an Indian, India would have a conflict between two personalities with extremely different views. Our Bapu would have non-violent, equality, truthful views, but Hitler’s views would be full of inequality, racism, violence, etc. So historically if Hitler was Indian, it would be tough for India to get independence.

Now let’s come to the imaginative part. Just imagine Hitler in kurta-pyjama with a teeka on his forehead. I was just wondering, if Hitler became popular, he’d start a brand. Perhaps, like Patanjali, we would get Nazi dant kanthi. Just think of Hitler speaking Hindi and endorsing his brand on the radio. His brand, Nazi could be a big hit. He might start speaking at gatherings and perhaps become a philosopher. He might make some Indians embrace Nazism.

Hitler, as a popular Indian, he might surely be a part of a Bollywood film or Hindi daily soap. We never know, Hitler could be a superstar like Raj Kapoor or Rajesh Khanna!

Hitler might also turn into a baba like Baba Ramdev. Just think of him with a long beard, saffron robe and chest hair with a packet of Nazi noodles in his hand.

It was Karva Chauth last week. All I could do is laugh as I imagined Eva Braun keeping this fast. Braun married Hitler just a day before they both committed suicide on 30^th April, 1945. But they were in a relationship for 14 years. So I wouldn’t be surprised if my history textbook would have a picture of Eva Braun in a saree waiting for the moon to appear and later doing Hitler’s puja with Nazi agarbatti and Nazi kum-kum.

I am sure we all would enjoy studying Hitler’s history if he was Indian, but Hitler was the Fuhrer of Germany. The world hated him. But imagination doesn’t see hatred.  

An Indian Hitler is definitely a crazy idea.