A tribute

I used to love this show called Kahe Diya Pardes until the couple got married. Indians are super obsessed with marriage, and we have some special lagaav with girls in this case. The lives of girls completely change after marriage. But I have a simple question—why does this happen?

The people of our country still believe in the silly views that people did in the past. We talk about scientific outlook and rational thinking, but fail to actually implement it.

I have dozens of questions. Why does a girl have to ask her in-laws whether she can work or not post her marriage? Why does she have to change her surname? Why does she have to leave her house? Why does she have to do all the household work? Why does she have to refer to her husband as ji? Why does her family have to pay for the marriage? Why does she have to wear mangal sutra or put sindoor? Why can’t the men do all of this? Why do women tolerate it?

When someone is getting married, it’s taken for granted that the girl’s side has to make all the arrangements. These arrangements in a lot of cases are a long Wish List given by the groom’s side. Why is it so? Just because the bride has to spend her coming years with the groom and his family. I personally cannot digest this logic or illogic. This stupid reason is also given for another nonsensical thing- dowry. No dowry means no marriage in few areas which is so  sad.

Coming back to Kahe Diya Pardes, the female protagonist, Gauri has expressed her desire to work post marriage. What are her sasural people doing? They are bombarding her for hurting the maryada of the house. Seriously?  She worked before her marriage, what’s the problem in doing so after it?

One of my articles, Kaali Maata ki jai describes my experience with the concept of marriage. Girls in India are groomed since birth to get married. They are considered a burden and in some cases ‘paraya dhan’…not fair at all.

Women want a simple thing—freedom. The world talks about it, so does our country. People want to make a change. But there’s a problem. It’s called perception. The stupid and illogical perceptions and opinions about women not doing certain things should be thrown away before discussing women empowerment. Women don’t want to be referred to as ‘items’ ,‘burden’, or ‘properties’, we want our independence, our liberty, our lives. We desire a broad-minded outlook and a changed perception towards us. As they say, change begins at home.

I urge all of you to not just preach but practice too. Respect, empower and encourage women in your lives and bring about a change !